Hello loyal readers, and welcome to a special edition of Dustin's Disastrous Decisions. Here is where you get to learn a little bit more about my critique style, my rating system, and my upcoming schedule. Please enjoy.
My formula
My formula is pretty straight forward when it comes to movies. Every time I go to see a movie I either expect to be pleasantly surprised, have my suspicions confirmed, or horribly disappointed. Going into a movie without any sort of expectations is near impossible, unless you have not seen any of the previews for it. The best you can do is go into a movie with an open mind. Case and point: I thought I would just tolerate "Frozen," but I ended up loving it. I thought "Rise of the Planet of the Apes" was going to be the same as "Planet of the Apes" with Mark Wahlberg, but it transcended it. I thought "Man of Steel" was finally going to make Superman worth while again, but it ended up making my hatred of the character all the more prevalent. There are thousands of these examples for me, but just know that I do not harbor a grudge towards a movie for simply "existing." I believe any movie can be good if done right, but the question remains what do I think is the right way to do a movie?
I always award bonus points to a movie for having an original concept and delivering that concept to the audience well. "The Lego Movie" had an original concept and amazing delivery. "The Purge" had an original concept, but turned that originality into "just another slasher flick." Even if the concept is not necessarily "original" I can still appreciate a well written script, and good directing to make the movie stand out. Acting always plays a hand in the movies quality, so if I see an A list actor looking bored on the screen of course it is going to drive the quality of the movie down. The rest of the movie is usually just bonuses to the viewing experience, and I judge the movie based on what the other parts added to it. Cinematography, choreography, effects, etc. All extras that cannot drive a movie's core dynamic. I'm not saying a movie with bad cinematography, is still good if the acting and writing makes up for it. I am simply saying that when I watch a movie, and the script and cast are amazing, bad cinematography is not going to harshly effect my score of the movie. The rest of my process is even more straight forward, and it all has to do with the core concept of what a movie is actually supposed to do: entertain the viewer. If it is not entertaining, then I don't care how great the script is or how amazing the actors performed,. It is a bad movie. Done and Done. How do I gauge if I was entertained during the movie? That answer is found in the genre.
Action or Sci-Fi: An action or a sci-fi movie has to let me escape into that movie. It should be able to let me put myself in the main protagonist's (or Antagonist's if you are into that) shoes. I should feel like I can be John Rambo, or Luke Skywalker when I am watching; or more so, that I am one of these characters. If it can't do that it has to put me on the edge of my seat (at least once during the movie). If there is a car chase I should feel engrossed in that chase, the same for a space battle, or any other big action scene. I should be engrossed in the characters, and there well being. I should feel blown away by the sequences. "Pacific Rim" is the most recent example of what that feels like for me. During that entire movie I was constantly on the verge of blurting out "HOLY CRAP! DID YOU JUST SEE THAT!" Of course I know the random stranger next to me just saw that, the movie was so good it made me forget myself, and feel like a kid again.
Romance: All about the characters in this type of movie. I should care about the love between them, and beg for it to work out. I should want my love life to be like these character's love life. I should hate the antagonist for trying to foil the love between these people. "Pretty Woman," "When Harry Met Sally," and "Brokeback Mountain" are all great examples of this process working.
Comedy: Simply put, I have to laugh. A good comedy can make me laugh without even thinking about me laughing. Uncontrollable laughter is key to a great comedy. A good, recent example of this type of comedy was actually "This is the End." It had me rolling in my seat, laughing at everything that came up without even having to think about the joke first. It was just funny, period. The other way they can go with it is if it makes you think about the joke then laugh. A more highbrow, intelligent humor, usually reserved for jokes about politics, or something you have to have knowledge of to be funny. "Paul" is a good example of this type of humor. To get a lot of the jokes you had to have a certain knowledge of sci-fi movies. Noticing that they were playing the cantina music from "Star Wars" in the background of the bar scene, things like that.
Drama: A good Drama is actually completely derived off of its story line. That is really the only way I can say I was entertained by a drama, unfortunately. Not to say that I hate drama, I'm just saying that there aren't going to be many sequences that put you on the edge of your seat. Mainly, it has to have moments where something is revealed, or something happens that makes my eyes wide with amazement. That certain scene that people talk about for years to come. "The Departed," "Unbreakable," or "Prisoners" (for a more recent example) are great examples of this method. "The Departed" had me wide-eyed throughout most of the movie. "Unbreakable" was an interesting concept, with an amazing ending (back when M. Night did that kind of thing). Prisoners kept me guessing throughout a greater portion of the film.
Horror: This genre is hard for me to judge, I can be a real asshole when it comes to horror movies these days. That is because I need to be scared at some point in the movie, and there aren't too many horror movies that have scared me recently. A good horror movie properly uses this technique. It has some thing that grabs your attention (let's say a door creaking shut), then gets the audience's mind working (the menace is behind the door. The menace is behind the door. The menace is behind the door.) It gets the audience so worked up, that the audience ends up creating their own terror, and when whatever it is shows up it scares the shit out of them (OH MY GOD! IT WAS BEHIND THE DOOR! I KNEW IT WOULD BE, BUT I NEVER EXPECTED WHERE IT WOULD BE BEHIND THE DOOR!). My best, recent example of a movie scaring me these days was "The Conjuring." It used everything at it's disposal to scare me, and I absolutely loved it. Bad recent examples? "Insidious," the "Paranormal Activity" series, and "The Haunting in Connecticut."
Animated: A good animated movie, has to have something in it for all ages (unless you are something like "South Park" which one should never expect to be appropriate for all ages). It should have jokes for all ages in it, something to appeal to the masses. I should be cracking up, or engrossed in a movie, just like a child is. We should both get something out of the experience, even if one of us gets more out of the experience than the other."Frozen" and "The Lego Movie" are both good examples of "fun for all ages." Before anyone asks about this, I must say that with the way technology is today, I never mention the animation of a film unless it was bad. I haven't seen bad animation in quite sometime.
Of course there are more sub-genres out there, but these are the main ones. Mystery/suspense can be summed up as a drama, western can be summed up as an action, and so on.
My Rating System
Basically I tried to make the rating system my own. It tells you what to do, while giving the movie a score (more or less).
Buy It: This is my highest recommendation. I am telling you all to spend 20 dollars or more on a movie, because it is so good you will want to watch it over, and over again. These movies did most everything right, and kept me thoroughly entertained throughout the running time. Amazing. Example: "The Departed," "Die Hard," and more recently "The Lego Movie"
See it in theaters: This is the next step. I am telling you that this movie is worth going to spend five or more dollars to see it on the big screen. It is worth spending the money, but not a lot of money. There also might not be very much replay value to it. Good. "300: Rise of an Empire," and the first "300."
Rent it: The middle ground. A movie that is simply okay, and doesn't do much to "wow" the audience. These are good movies for dates, or viewing if you have nothing else to watch and want to catch up with the some lesser movies from the year. They are worth a dollar or so, and will keep your attention at the least. Okay. "Epic," "Despicable Me 2," and "Non-Stop."
Netflix it: A small step below middle ground. These movies might be worth your time, but not your money (unless you count the subscription fee). These movies are filler, something to watch when you don't want to think to much, or have a hangover. Something that will at least waste a couple of hours in your day, and not make you feel bad for watching it. Meh. (Best description I could come up with to state my exact feelings toward these movies, sorry for that word coming up.) "Planes," "Pompeii," and "The Amazing Spider-Man."
Pirate It: I don't like the piracy of movies. I feel it takes away from the people that put forth the time and effort towards trying to entertain us. So when I say pirate it, I actually mean this movie is so bad you should be refunded. It could be worth your time to see it and laugh at how bad it is, or it could be one of those movies that you need to see because it has a certain actor or director in it. It is worth your time only for these reasons, if the reasons don't suit you then don't bother with it. Bad. "Insidious," "Robocop," and "Grown Ups 2."
Don't do it: This movie isn't even worth revenge, it isn't worth thinking about, it isn't worth talking about. This movie isn't worth the money that was put into it, and it does no one any good for being allowed to be shown in public viewing. It is a waste of space, it is a waste of energy, and you feel worse having seen this piece of garbage. You don't want to do anything with this movie, you don't want to hear this movie's name, you just want to forget it ever existed, and move on with your life. Horrible. "Green Lantern," Spider-Man 3," and "Star Trek: Into Darkness."
My Schedule
This is my schedule for the foreseeable future as provided by the upcoming movies on IMDB. This schedule is most likely going to change as more movies are announced. As always I don't have to strictly abide by this schedule, so don't feel like you can't send me requests for reviews because it will interfere with a movie I am currently viewing. I will release my reviews on the days I say I am going to, but I assure you that I will get to your request when the time allows me to. I cannot stress how much I love getting feedback. I will always do my best to reply to you, and love seeing that people care about my reviews, either in the positive or negative.
March 16th: Need for Speed
March 23rd: Divergent
March 26th: Muppets: Most Wanted
March 30th: Noah
April 6th: Captain America: Winter Soldier
April 13th: Oculus
April 16th: Rio 2
April 20th: Transcendence
April 27th: The Other Woman
May 4th: The Amazing Spider-Man 2
May 11th: Neighbors
May 18th: Godzilla
May 25th: X-Men: Days of Future Past
June 1st: Maleficent
June 4th: A Million Ways to Die in the West
June 8th: Edge of Tomorrow
June 15th: 22 Jump Street
June 18th: How to Train Your Dragon 2
June 22nd: Think Like a Man Too
June 29th: Transformers: Age of Extinction
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