Ouija

Are board games scary?

A girl dies mysteriously by alleged suicide, when she hung herself with Christmas lights. She is survived by her friends and family, one friend in particular Laine (Olivia Cooke) is in deep mourning when she finds something left behind by the girl, an old Ouija board. She gathers the remaining friends in order to seek one last farewell to their recently departed loved one. Something goes wrong while they play the game, and the friends accidentally bring something into this world that they did not intend.  The spirit starts picking off the friends one by one, leaving it is up to Laine and her sister Sarah (Ana Coto) to stop the menace before it ends them all.

So, I saw Michael Bay's name attached to the producer credits, and it just seems like he is intentionally putting his name on bad movies now. I am not going to be taking any shots at the would-be director, but it is a little unnerving that he can't be a part of anything good these days. So, I obviously didn't like this, and for once the story is not biggest reason why. It's a big reason, just not the biggest. You should know what you are getting yourself into here. You won't be surprised by anything as the makers of this crap obviously intended. You won't find yourself awestruck by anything. I know the story isn't my biggest concern when it comes to horror, but this story didn't even seem to try. Taking every cliche from every tired, worn-out, storyline and putting it into one big mash up of crap. I don't think Michael Bay has any creative control here, and you can tell because the first answer to this group's problem wasn't "blow up the board." However, the first answer (and last) to their problem was to "kill it with fire,"  so maybe he is just trying a different tactic here. I know I may be digging a little bit when it comes to placing the blame on him, but I don't think I can (in good conscience) blame the actual director.

This was director Stiles White's first direction credit, and I can only hope that he learned from his mistakes. The atmosphere tried WAY to hard to be the scariest thing it could, but it just all seemed so phoned in. There was no actual life given to the scenery, everything seemed like it was moving electronically, and the surrounding atmosphere grew stale. This is the movie rendition of a haunted house with too much of a budget; I know everything won't actually hurt me so I am not afraid. I get the most afraid when going through a homemade haunted house where you can tell things aren't real but the atmosphere makes it seem like it can be. That's why movies like The Conjuring or Insidious work to some degree. I know I didn't like Insidious at all, but the reason some people were scared by it was due to the atmosphere. This movie relied mainly on jump scares, and jump scares only work when we can't see them coming.

So the question that always surrounds a horror movie is: Was it scary? The answer for this movie is obviously no. The director was not experienced enough to know what he was doing (apparently), the atmosphere was stiff, the scare tactics were cheap and ill used. Everything about this movie exuded failure, and it didn't help that the actors just weren't putting any effort into acting scared. Olivia Cooke and Ana Coto had zero "sibling chemistry" on the screen. I got the impression that I was supposed to feel these sisters were estranged (one the problem child, one the replacement mom....yeah this script had no chance). Instead, I got the feeling that these two were strangers, meeting each other for the first time and forced to go through this obviously fake situation together. If those two had no chemistry, I was hoping for some chemistry from the romantic relationship. Nope. It was like they were two dolls made to play in a "spooky castle playhouse." No real emotion from anyone, no real drama, you could tell that these people were actors through the entire run time, and it never let you escape into the movie. The only real acting I saw came from Lin Shaye, but to say she stole the show would not do her any justice since there was no real show to steal. Lin is a horror movie veteran and by this point she should be considered an icon, so when I saw her I was wondering why the kid's in this didn't at least attempt some real acting. The only thing I can think of is to blame the rookie director again, not trying to get the best performance out of his stars.

Final Verdict: Don't do it It is as if the powers that be saw I was giving a lot of movies high ratings, and made the worst horror of the year come out now to ruin my stride. I can't remember if there are any other horror's coming out this year, but they will be hard pressed to beat this film for worst.