Pompeii

Some people just want to watch the world burn, sometimes that's not enough

Our story begins with the slaughter of a tribe of horse riders, by the hands of Rome's finest. There is one survivor of the massacre, his name is Milo (Kit Harrington) and he grows up to be a powerful warrior in the infamous arenas of Rome/Pompeii. Pompeii is the vacation spot of Rome, it is where the upper crust go to unwind. They take in the pleasures of any good vacation spot; shopping, dancing, battles to the death. The "rulers" of this land are Severus (not Snape, Jared Harris) and Aurelia (Carrie-Anne Moss) who are celebrating the return of their daughter, Cassia (Emily Browning) from Rome. While she was away, she went and earned herself a stalker, Corvus, a senator from Rome who just happened to be at the head of the attack on Milo's people. Corvus shows up to Pomeii (in true stalker fashion) throwing the weight of the empire of Rome around, and forcing Cassia's parent's into some tough situations. During this time she is starting to fall for the gladiator Milo, Corvus sees this and turns his wrath on her family and Milo. All seems to be going to hell, when hell seems to come to earth. The mountain above their city explodes, and threatens to take every living soul with it.

So who wants to see a movie you already know the ending to (if you even remotely paid attention in history class)? I guess the same thing can be said about any movie regaling us on the events of the past. This is the question I was asked prior to seeing this movie, and I responded with a slew of movies like "Titanic," "300," "Braveheart," etc. Little did I know that I was describing the movie I was about to see with those titles. This movie is basically I compilation of other movies, except that it kind of spits in the face of all of those other movies by being mediocre at best. There wasn't enough time for character development, so when the volcano erupts you may root for one character, but the rest fall to the wayside. For me that character was Atticus (Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje), and this is only because he embodied the character you wished to survive from every movie. He is the cop who has one day left until retirement, as well as being the obvious first victim of a serial killer. I didn't care about the parents who were forced into a tight situation, I didn't care about Cassia's hand maiden, and I cared the least about the lovers Milo and Cassia. Why did I care the least about the lovers? Unlike Jack and Rose (Titanic), who we had about two hours of character building with, Milo and Cassia get maybe fifteen minutes (and most of that time is overly long staring contests). I bring up "Titanic" because their courtship seems to try to be emulating the one from Titanic (including them trying to reenact the infamous "floating door scene," only to be reminded that this is Pompeii and they both have to die). I wasn't even rooting for the bad guys to get their comeuppance. I knew they were going to die from the volcano anyways, yes; but, their wickedness wasn't really sold to me. I guess I have the actors to blame for that.

If you like the acting from either "Mortal Kombat" film, you will absolutely love this movie. If you have not been lobotomized, you will see the absolute horror of so many potential, and established careers being washed down the toilet. I love Kit Harrington as Jon Snow in the show "Game of Thrones," but here he seems to be nothing more than the gladiator form of Batman (tragic child hood, deep voice throughout the movie, and awesome at beating people up). If that was the role I could understand, but for god's sake can I at least see a little bit of emotion from this man? I love Emily Browning as Babydoll in the movie "Sucker Punch," but here she is nothing more than a child trying to pretend she is a powerful lead female role. I love Kiefer Sutherland as Jack Bauer in "24," but here he is a hero poorly trying to act like a villain. I love Carrie-Anne Moss as Trinity in "The Matrix", and Jared Harris as Professor Moriarty in "Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows," but here they are two people that try/fail at portraying pain for their daughter's fate, as well as love for each other. There is more to it, but I think you can tell by now what is happening. The only good acting I was privileged to, actually came from a hilarious scene where an extra realistically portrays getting hit in the head by a speeding piece of rock. Tumbles like a sack of potatoes, it was great.

A positive I can put out there for this movie is the choreography. The fight scenes in this were pretty intense, and creative. I have obviously seen better from better movies, but they were a nice break from all of the horrible acting and boring plot. The thing that would have made them better (unfortunately) was an R rating. I have said this before: I am not a gore junkie, but there is definitely a missing element here, and all I can come up with is blood. If you need another excuse to see people clash iron in an arena, the scenes here might actually be worth the rest of the malarkey. 

On the other side of the spectrum we have the cinematography. While it is most assuredly not the worst I have seen this year (looking at you "Robocop"), it is not great either. It is like watching a movie that was budgeted and released for HBO, or possibly like watching "Dante's Peak." A lot of scene's that seem unnecessarily speed up, some choppy effects (the ones that didn't center around the volcano), and eye rolling camera shake in inappropriate places. There are definitely some very powerful shots, but most of them have to do with people making their final pose before the volcano consumes them. As powerful as they are, it is just not enough for me to deem it as good. The funniest part of the cinematography is when they try to pan back to the volcano as often as possible, "subtly" reminding the audience what they came to see.    

The final thing that could save this movie from ending up to a fate of the clearance rack, would be the graphics; and by that I mean the volcano scenes. It is nice to see a movie about a volcano with some descent effects, and that seems to be where most of the heart went in this film. Since this is what most of the audience came to see (or has been waiting for), I guess it makes sense. I just wish the rest of the movie wasn't so bad. I just wish I could have gotten to see an all around good movie, instead I got disappointed again by the people in charge of this thinking the volcano was
going to be enough. As always (when the people in charge think they know what is best) they were wrong, and my hopes were thrown into the volcano along with the rest of Pompeii.

Final Verdict: Netflix It This movie may not be worth your money, but it could possibly be worth your time. If you liked any of the movies I have mentioned here, you will most likely be okay with this.