The Other Woman

Cheating is bad, and so is Minaj

This movie starts off with Carly Whitten (Cameron Diaz) finding the perfect man, Mark King (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau). He is smart, handsome, and rich; but she soon finds out that he is also married. His wife Kate King (Leslie Mann) finds her after an embarrassing run in and tries to force a companionship. After a lot of coaxing they soon become friends and add a third woman to their ranks, who happens to be another one of Mark's side pieces (Kate Upton). The three soon find out that they want more than just a clean break, they want to hurt this man. They come up with a plan to not only hurt his career, but also any chance he has at coming out of this predicament ahead.

I am obviously not the target audience for this movie. If the trailers weren't enough of an indication I was the only silent person in the theater while watching this. Let it be very clear that this is the perspective of a 24 year old man that went to see this movie for no other reason then it was the only thing out that was close to me (and I had to write a review this week). I try to give every movie a shot at impressing me (sometimes these types of movies are actually quite enjoyable), but this was going towards the female crowd a great deal more than other movies of its caliber. Somehow I feel that it probably failed at that, because basically it is saying that it takes three women to be smarter than one man. Feminine perspective aside, the comedy in this ranged from low brow, to gross. This can sometimes be enjoyable, but here they just lingered a bit too long on the joke, or pushed it to a point where it just wasn't funny anymore. Before the women go after his main interests (money) they play high school pranks on him. This is usually sure to be hilarious, but I left the theater having only chuckled at a few of the scenes. I know the exact reason I wasn't amused, I have seen this before. There are just so many rehashed gimmicks in this movie. Lacing a man's drink with laxative or estrogen, seen it. A man thinking he is going to be treated to something sexually gratifying only to be misled, seen it. Leslie Mann drunk, seen it. Cameron Diaz the no bullshit/ass kicker, seen it. Nicki Minaj, god do I wish I hadn't watched it.

Actually let's go ahead and talk about the acting in this. Leslie Mann was great, even though I had seen this character before it just means that she has had practice, and thus performed well enough. The rest...well they leave a little more to be desired. I know Cameron Diaz can do better with this role, I have seen her do better with this role, her heart just wasn't in it this time. Nikolaj Coster-Waldam basically was just standing in a certain place and told to look pretty, he did that well; but whenever it came time to actually put on his work boots and perform he just seemed a little more flat. Kate Upton seems to find herself in these "doomed to be bargain bin" movies (seriously, look at her IMDB) and for that reason I feel bad for her, but with performances like this it seems warranted. Finally, let's go ahead and talk about the newest rapper to actor transformation. I have nothing against Nicki Minaj, I am not here to talk about her albums, or personal life; all I have to say on this matter is: some rappers can act and she is just not one of them. She gave the worst performance in the movie. Period.

Now, I am going to talk to the male readers here for a second. There are only two reasons you are going to see this movie (unless you are writing a review, and there is nothing else is out). Your significant other is taking you to see it, or your parents are taking you to see it. The possibility that you might actually be interested in watching this is there, but if you are one of the reasons I just mentioned this is for you. If you are going to see this with your significant other be warned that I sense an argument coming from this movie, but it is harmless besides that. If you are going to see it with your parents, I would have you beg them for another film because this is just something your mom is going to use over both you and your father. I am not saying that this movie is basically a filmed version of "let's hate men" (since there are good guys in the movie); I am saying I saw a lot of pre-argument conversation going on as I exited the theater.

Final Verdict: Pirate it The acting was poor for the most part, the jokes fell flat, and the story was predictable. I may not be the target audience for this, but then again I don't think anyone is in my age group is (from either gender). Skip it unless you are bored.

Transcendence

This movie only hightens my hatred for present day Depp acting

This movie begins with Dr. Will Caster (Johnny Depp) working on research for an omniscient, sentient Artificial Intelligence. He is a famous man in his field of work, alongside his wife Evelyn Caster (Rebecca Hall) supporting him every step of the way. All seems to be going well for him until (about fifteen minutes into the film) a terrorist organization dedicated to Anti-Technology wipes out every single lab researching AI. During their raid of mayhem they shoot Will with a "poison" bullet and give him a month to live (guess they were going overboard on making sure this guy died). Luckily enough we find out that Will has been doing research on putting a human being's consciousness into a computer system. His wife (desperate to hold onto her husband) puts his brain into the computer system, then proceeds to put him online. The worry facing most people is that the man she put into the machine is not the man she (or any of them) knew and it could usher in a technology driven apocalypse (Skynet).

I think this is the worst part about watching previews for a movie, I had such high hopes for this. I wanted to see a "Ghost in the Machine" type of movie, with Johnny Depp as the lead (where he wasn't playing a crazy asshole aka Jack Sparrow, and didn't have any creative influence over the film). Instead I got a movie that was so far up its own ass with its own message I am surprised that the dialogue wasn't just the sound of toilet water splashing. I don't think I have seen a movie this pretentious in a while (I can't say why or it will "ruin" the movie for some people, but seriously it is bad) and I was hoping that I wouldn't have to see something like this in my lifetime. It tries to be smart and thought provoking, but it tries to hard and just comes across as bland and uninteresting (worse it comes off as stupid). I could blame a lot of things for this happening, but I can just smell Johnny Depp's hand at work hear somewhere. You will know what I am talking about, but I can just tell that someone somewhere asked Johnny for advice on the story line (because he is such a "creative mind" and all). Even if he didn't have anything to do with the story line it was all very self righteous and annoying and drove the whole movie into a downward spiral. Right now, this movie is the equivalent to asking a celebrity what they think about politics, and they just start quoting XYZ news network. This movie tries to seem very smart, but just ends up seeming dumb. We get it. Technology bad. The least this movie could do is not cop out at the end on of the movie  in regards to its own message.

Let's talk about the acting, I know this is what a lot of people are looking forward to hearing. Yes, this is another in a long line of bad acting movies for Johnny Depp. I know there are a lot of people out there that still love him with all of their hart, and they think he can do no wrong but he has been horrible lately. I was hoping this movie would break character for him, allow us to see a Johnny Depp from the past. I wanted "Secret Window" Depp, or "Fear and Loathing" Depp, hell I'll even take "Once upon a time in Mexico" Depp; but it seems the stench of Tim Burton/"Pirates" Depp is here again. He plays a scientist, but a disconnected scientist (apparently incapable of expressing emotion). I didn't see any spark in his eye for his wife, and he was supposed to be doing most of what he was doing as the AI for her. He just seemed annoyed when he was around her, not in love.
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oh, I'm sorry were there other actors in this? Didn't notice. The only other actors that got decent screen time were Paul Bettany, Rebecca Hall and Kate Mara (Kate Mara somewhat I mean). Paul Bettany actually played his part quite brilliantly, Rebecca Hall was good at conveying loss (and her refusal to come to terms with it), and Kate Mara..... oh well, she was just... so....pretty? No one got the screen time they deserved in this.That unfortunately goes for Cillian Murphy as well (one of my favorite actors) serving as our cop for this train wreck.

The only thing I can say in the positive for this movie (a microscopic drop in the pool of awfulness that was this film) is the graphics were neat. This is exactly how I would picture Nano technology being used. This is exactly the purpose I thought it would be used for, and seeing it in action was pretty awe inspiring. It kind of makes you want this technology just so you can have Wolverine's healing factor. Aside from that the movie was garbage.

Now I know that this opinion is not going to reach a lot of you like it did me (mainly because this is the first movie I saw with friends since I started this blog), but you have to understand that I don't like being talked down to. I don't like a movie pretending intelligence and trying to hold that over the audience. That is why "Children of Men" didn't work for me, that is why "Terminator: Salvation" didn't work for me (beyond the other obvious flaws in both of those films). These movies spend so much time trying to get their message across that they forget that they are supposed to be entertaining somewhere. That is the biggest mistake a movie can make, losing sight of the original goal for the audience. I would have loved this movie if it actually was Skynet going live (or something ridiculous), before I would love a movie that was being so condescending. I know when I say this the immediate reaction by most is "aww man he was too stupid to get the plot, and just wanted action." No. This is not the case. I love smart movies, but this movie was trying so hard to persuade us it was smart when really it was stupid. It's like being talked down to by a plumber when you are having a problem with your television. It may know a bit about nano tech, but doesn't seem to know how the internet or anything else electrical really works. There are a lot of other points that prove what I am saying, but you will honestly have to see the damn thing to understand what I am saying.

Final Verdict: Pirate It! Only thing that saved this from my worst rating was seeing nano tech in action. I reserve my "Don't do it" rating only for the absolute worst of movies. To me this is strike three for Depp (First "The Rum Diary," second "The Lone Ranger"), he is now reaching the level of actor I just don't want to see in film.

Rio 2

Passable but overall a let down

Our story begins (what seems like) a few years after the events of the first movie. Blu and Jewel are living happily in Rio alongside their old pals and children. All seems to be going well until Linda and Tulio stumble across another Blue Macaw in the amazon, which could mean a nest. Since the events of the first movie led us to believe that Blu and Jewel were the last Blue Macaws in existence, Jewel pressures Blu to go find the other Macaws in the amazon. When they arrive we find out that not all is well in the amazon, there are people destroying the rain forest. The Blue Macaws have been set upon by these humans destroying their home for quite some time which has led to some obvious trust issues between the birds and humans. Especially from Jewel's newly found, long lost father, Eduardo (or sir or pop pop). The humans aren't the only threats in the jungle as Nigel finds his way back in the movie to take his vengeance on Blu for crippling him (Nigel can't fly any more).

Seems like a lot going on in the film? There is and that becomes a bit of a problem. There are a total of three enemies in this movie, and the story line tries very hard to tie all of them together but it just seems cluttered. First we have the humans trying to cut down the rain forest, they seem to want to be the main antagonist but get over shadowed by Nigel and his team. Nigel is joined by a poisonous frog (named Gabi, played by Kristin Chenoweth) and an anteater, they provide some good comedy relief, but serve little purpose besides that. Nigel seems to have lost a lot of his edge from the first movie; before he was a cannibalistic bird obsessed with eating; now he is a revenge oriented bird easily distracted by stardom. He is still hilarious and probably one of the best parts of this movie, but I just wish he was still as crazy as before. The third and final "enemy" is actually just a rival bird clan (I think they are parrots) who keep trying for the Macaws part of the rain forest. So at the end of the day we have a "Ferngully" style enemy, "West Side Story" style enemy, and Nigel...again. I feel like if they dropped one of the villains it wouldn't feel as complete, but at the same time there is just too much going on at once. Among the villains you also have Blu feeling out of place and jealous of the other Macaws. You can see this coming from a mile away when you here that there are other Macaws, since Blu seemed to be banking on Jewel being with him forever for not having much of a choice. It gets resolved as you would think and takes up the most screen time. There is also this weird audition thing Nico, Pedro and Rafael are doing for Carnival (serves as a side story to seemingly every other story). See? A lot going on in this, and unfortunately way too much.

With all that is going in this movie we have to wonder if any characters are being neglected. Yes, they are. The kids serve more as set pieces then actually story drivers, I found myself wanting to see more of them only to be brought down by having to deal with Blu's insecurity again. Even the three amigo birds (Nico, Pedro and Rafael) get more screen time then the children do. The most we saw from them was in the first five minutes while they were being babysat. Aside from that it is bits and pieces. From that small time we can derive that they have three completely different personalities. The boy is a wild child, fixated with pranks and pyrotechnics. One girl bird is the brainy one, her nose always in a book and saying little known facts here and there. The other girl is fixated with music, always has headphones in and helps the three amigos try to find talent for Carnival. They are the most overlooked characters in this, and the movie should have put a lot more focus on the children of the two stars. I am not saying that the children are good characters (I was getting a bit of an "Alvin and the Chipmunks" feel from them), just that more attention should have been paid to them so that they were better (possibly more deep).

As with the last movie, everyone is true to form and performs brilliantly in this. The actors that were in the last one are just as prominent in this (in the right places), and haven't lost their touch. Jesse Eisenberg is still neurotic and phobic, Jermaine Clement is still amazing, George Lopez has a smaller part (thankfully), Will I Am and Jamie Foxx still compliment each others style brilliantly. The best part from the old cast is that I don't have to hear Tracy Morgan nearly as much, which was a big criticism on the first. Among the new talent we have Andy Garcia playing the protective, boisterous father to Jewel; brilliantly. Finally we have Bruno Mars playing the suave and cool Roberto, proving that he has more talent than originally thought.

The final part I have to address is: Was this as good as the original? As with most sequels, this was no where near as good as the original, but it was still fun. It may seem a bit cluttered at times, but it was still cute. It had some funny moments, and the end scene was pretty great. Going in to this, I hoped for more since I was a fan of the first movie, but I left a little disappointed. Even though I was disappointed, I still felt uplifted by having just seen it. It was weird combination, but not really an unwelcome one.

Final Verdict: Rent it This isn't going to live on as one of the greats, but it is still somewhat entertaining. Your kids will definitely love it, and you won't regret having seen it either. Not really worth the price of a movie ticket, but definitely worth a buck or two.

Oculus

As if the horror genre didn't have enough bad ideas

Our story follows Kaylie and Tim Russell (played by Karen Gillan and Brenton Thwaits), two surviving children from a murder that happened in front of them during their formative years. The twist is that what people think is a murder was really a possession. What possessed them? A Ghost? No. A mirror. This mirror not only possesses people but alters their perception of reality. It makes you see things that aren't really their, or makes you believe what it wants you to believe. After the events from their childhood Kaylie sets out to destroy the mirror once and for all, making an attempt to recruit her brother. The problem with that is that her brother just finished undergoing intense rehabilitation therapy, and doesn't believe the mirror is responsible for what happened to them. As Kaylie tries to get him to remember, he tries to convince her that she is delusional. Or is she?

They story line is not a winner here, we have all seen possession movies before. The only thing different between this movie, and other possession movies is the fact that the mirror can also make you think things with out actually possessing you. Everything that comes up in the movie just feels more and more like we have seen this before in countless other movies. It also annoys me that this movie is going to spark talks of which sibling was right at the end of the day, psychologically it could be either. There is just nothing that really jumps off the page with this, just rehash garbage.

I never expect horror movies to be saturated with amazing story line, the real question is: Was this movie scary? Short answer: no. This movie has all of the qualities that should make it scary, but just ends up disappointing. They keep your anticipation high, but it takes them too long to deliver something even hinting at frightening. It is kind of like hanging out with someone you really like all day, and they keep saying you will have sex but then just fall asleep. This movie is the tease of horror films. The atmosphere changes (in that horror sort of way), and you wait for something to scare you but it just doesn't happen or takes too long to happen. This movie likes to use gross out factors as a scare tactic, and predictable jump scares. I usually like jump scares, but only when I can't see them coming. It is really just sad at the end of the day, this movie shows so much potential when you are watching it, but it never lives up to that potential.

What can I really say about the acting here...it is a horror movie. The acting isn't amazing. The problem that follows most horror movies (and the problem that found its way to this movie) is that actors have to look terrified 75% of the time. The other 25% of the time they are building story line or developing their character. Neither of these provide the actor with much wiggle room to emote. This movie had the main actress (Karen) play a woman that was all business, but she played it in such an annoying way that you just wanted her to stop putting you through her little episodes. It tried to have the main actor (Brenton) look like a sobbing little kid through out the run time, but he just looked catatonic.

I can give the movie this, if they had made a larger attempt to scare the audience (instead of grossing them out) they would have succeeded. The camera work in this was perfect for horror. It only revealed enough of the scene so that you were always waiting (hoping) for something to pop up just out of sight. While it was a tease, it was also a deeper disappointment knowing that they knew how to make a scary movie, they just didn't.

Final Verdict: Netflix It This movie was bad-ish. It had a couple of scenes that might be worth your time, and if you are a fan of films with good camera work this is the movie for you.

Captain America: The Winter Soldier

Cap is back and amazing as ever

In this newest Marvel movie we follow the nation's hero Captain America A.K.A Steve Rodgers. Since we last left him Cap has been busy running missions for S.H.I.E.L.D. trying to do the only thing that makes since to him. War. Unfortunately, S.H.I.E.L.D has been keeping a few secrets from our flag wearing hero, and when those secrets are unveiled Cap wonders if he really is fighting for something he believes in. With this looming over his head he also has a new enemy to worry about. Someone who's identity is a mystery, and can stand on par with Cap himself. The Winter Soldier.

There is a bit more to the story, but for my none comic book efficient readers I shall hold my tongue as not to ruin anything. Yes, this movie does fairly well at keeping consistent with the identities and origins of the new characters. The movie even has a (more or less) surprising ending that should interest people even if they did read the books. I love this story line because it pits Cap against not only The Winter Soldier, but the very nation he is named after. It's filled with far more depth than most of the movies that have come out featuring this character. We get to see how Steve is dealing with living in a different timeline. We get to see how messed up it is to not only be a soldier who's seen combat, but a solider out of time. What does one do when everything he knew is gone? It was also nice to see Cap doing his best to get more topical with events, and entertainment he has missed over the years. Our new partner to Cap, "The Falcon" is pretty much exactly what you would expect him to be. Dedicated to Cap, helps Cap find himself, serves as comic relief while also kicking some butt on his own. I didn't really have a problem with the way he was done, it was just easy to notice the difference in skill between him and everybody else. As it stands the story line and characters were solid, sans a couple of missteps that are to be expected.

The acting in this was the same as everything else we have seen from this studio of Marvel movies, perfect. We have come to expect this from Chris Evans, Scarlett Johansson, and Samuel L. Jackson, but there is always room for error from people we have never seen or seen very little of. Cobie Smulders is welcome back as Maria Hill, this go around having more screen time. Robert Redford serves as an amazing man that you love to hate, and Sebastian Stan makes a sympathetic mime (having only a couple of lines through the movie). Finally, Anthony Mackie proves to be an amazing choice for Falcon, and I hope we get to see more of him in future ventures.

The action sequences in this were brilliantly choreographed. Taking people that should be professionally trained fighters (in the realm of this movie) should have proved taxing for any choreographer. Here we see exactly how well some people do at there jobs, because every scene felt like a real and amazing knife fight. Every move seemed so calculated and streamlined that you have to wonder how many endless hours the actors/stunt doubles spent perfecting these moves. It does not seem to register in their brains that they need to drop a knife into a hand that has a better shot at hitting it's target. It seems more like muscle memory. Whatever feats they went through to achieve this skill proved to be well worth it, because these fights are beautiful to watch.

This is the third sequel we have gotten from Marvel since "The Avengers" came out, and it seems to prove that we have so much more to look forward to. I have not been disappointed by a Marvel sequel since their billion dollar baby came out, and with a movie like this (serving as even more evidence) I don't think I will be. They seem to have this down to an exact science now, and the chemistry going into these movies is paying off.

Final Verdict: Buy it I know that this character, or even some points in the ending won't resonate with a few viewers, but try to look at this for what it is. If you like a good superhero spy movie you will love this.